Before she had arrived, I'd secured my velcro ties to the corns of the bed frame, and hidden the cuffs under the covers. With Amy now spread out for me, I pulled out the cuffs and restrained her.She stared at me with wide eyes as I wrapped the cuffs around her ankles and wrists until she was secured, spread-eagled on top of the covers. I watched as she tested the restraints: her arms pulled and struggled, her thigh muscles tensed and strained, she wriggled around, but the ties held. I knew they would, I'd tested them earlier. I cast my eyes over Amy's spread out body. It was all helpless and vulnerable for me to play with. I had a beautiful view of her soaked snatch with moisture glistening over her entire pubic area and down her thighs. Her chest rose and fell with deep breaths, her big, delicious tits went with them.I crawled onto the bed on top of her and kissed her. Then I started kissing down her body, very slowly and deliberately. This sent her into a frenzy of writhes and. Religion, diet supplements, or hair dye. Take your pick. So, whenever the bills piled up, or the boyfriend didn't call, or my hair looked awful, I could always reassure myself that there would be an end to it, so it didn't matter. Life may be hard, but fuckin' suicide is easy.Don't misunderstand me. When I was alive, I was very much alive. I did all the things that alive people did. I went to school, I dated, I graduated college, and I started a profession. I kept an apartment. I ate, I exercised, I put on makeup, and I kept my clothes ironed. I didn't spend my days listening to dark harpsichord music or making practice cuts up and down my arms. I didn't do drugs, and I drank only socially. I was well adjusted and, by all appearances, happy.Except I wasn't. I don't think I ever had been.I watched happy people and tried to figure out how they were happy. Not why. The why was the easy part. You have money in your pocket and a good- looking guy to hang on to, ergo, you're happy. You.
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